Reflection: Speech of self-introduction

 9/13/2011


    Coming up with what loss I wanted to speak about was not difficult for me; I had such a powerful experience, in the wake of a lost opportunity, this past summer that I knew I wanted to talk about it.  I did, however, find writing my speech somewhat challenging.  I didn’t create an outline, only made note of certain things I wanted to mention.  I spent a lot of time trying to develop my introduction, but kept hitting a wall.  I finally decided to write the body of the speech first, then the conclusion.  At that point I was able to form an introduction that was appropriate to the speech, and not have to develop a speech around an introduction.  I found I had more freedom with the direction of my speech.  I also found that I had written way more than I could say in three minutes, so I had to delete a lot; I was, however, able to say much of what was omitted when responding to the audience’s comments and questions.
I was scheduled to speak after Holly, and as she presented her speech, I began to feel the nervous butterflies fluttering in my chest.  I immediately attempted to remedy the situation by taking a few slow, steady, deep breaths and consciously telling myself to calm down.  This seemed to relax my heart rate, not completely, but enough for me to feel more comfortable. 
    When I was giving my speech, I remember feeling my ears and cheeks burn, and I hoped my face had not taken on the bright red hue I imagined it having.  Even immediately after my presentation I could not recall if I had been fidgeting as I know I tend to do.  I think my feet may have positioned themselves awkwardly throughout the ordeal though.  I also found that I was unaware of how frequently I used filler words like “um” and “like;” I was more focused on being able to convey everything I wanted to within the allotted three minutes.
    I don’t really know anyone in the class, but after my question-and-answer session I felt more connected and comfortable with my classmates.  I remember feeling as though I had successfully communicated with my audience after someone commented that the outlook I had on my lost opportunity was “a good way of looking at it.”  It felt good to know that my underlying message, that each individual is in control of his/her own happiness based on the way they view situations, was acknowledged.  I do not know at which point in my speech this was realized by my audience members, but I recognized my connection with the audience at this moment.

Goals for this course

I do not expect to totally rid myself of my "fear" of speaking in public to the point where I will enjoy or look forward to it, but I do hope to become more comfortable with the idea.  I tend to psyche myself out before giving a speech/presentation so much so that the anticipation before the speech is the worst part of the whole ordeal.  I therefore hope to develop a way of better preparing myself mentally.  I also hope to learn how to better prepare my actual speech, as I tend to mostly "wing it"...which definitely doesn't help my nerves.  I also use filler words like "um" and "like" too much, probably a combined result of nerves and insufficient preparation, and I would like to break that habit. 
Through the above changes, I hope this course will serve as an opportunity for me to develop my speech in a way that reflects a greater sense of rhetoric and is therefore more effective.